As I’ve stepped into this role as Growth and Stewardship Animator in a new context here in UCC East, where very few people in the pews know who I am, I’ve had the joy of being a bit of a ‘mystery worshipper’ at some United Church congregations.
I’m generally a pretty shy and reserved person until I get to know folks. I’m not the kind of person who will seek out others in a new situation for conversation – never mind showing up to a coffee time after worship – or not at least until I’ve made some initial connection.
In some cases, as I’ve slipped into a near-to-the-back-pew, I’ve been warmly welcomed by someone sitting nearby me who engaged me in conversation. In one case, a person came over to me as worship is about to begin, instructing me on the various hymnals we’d be using that Sunday.
However, I’ve been a bit surprised by our sometimes reserved and ‘private’ nature – where, in several cases, I’ve not been engaged at all. In one congregation (who shall not be named!) of about 20 people , not a single person made eye contact, said hello, or engaged me in any way. Though I quite enjoyed the worship, I walked out feeling invisible – not likely to ever return.
A wondering: what if we trained and designated two or three warm, welcoming people in our congregation to ask newcomers a simple question?
My proposal is that the question would be something like this: “What drew you to coming here today?”
I’d suggest that that open ended question might prompt a visitor to share their motivations or even parts of their story as they felt comfortable. It could even be a start a real person-to-person relationship. Sure, in some cases, a visitor might be reluctant to engage (or equally as shy), but I’d be willing to bet that in most cases, we would glean valuable information from their answers.
As I’ve started asking this question, here are a few simple answers I’ve received:
- I’m looking for a place to connect with others around bigger questions of life.
- I’m queer and I hear the UCC is welcoming and wanted to see if that’s actually true.
- I’m an atheist, but there’s something about the Jesus story which I can’t let go of.
- I’m new to Canada, a Presbyterian in Korea, and I wanted to see if this was similar.
- I’ve had a mystical experience and want to see if this is a place that might help me understand.
- I’m an activist and need some spirituality to root myself.
- I’m hungry for something more – maybe even “God” – and want to know if this place will connect me with that.
- I want my kids to have faith, so I’m coming to check this out to see if it could be such a place.
- I have a friend in the choir, and they told me it was amazing here.
Can you imagine how you might respond to each of these answers?
If there’s a pastoral or practical need, perhaps the greeter could answer from their own story: “I had the same question when I started coming here.” In some cases, that person could be directed to the appropriate person to follow up, such as a small group leader, a committee member, staff or clergy person. Perhaps there could even be a card to fill out that could be handed to the person to fill out if they wish further engagement (future blog posting on that!).
In that rural congregation that I visited, I imagined what my answer might be: “I just moved not-too-far from here, I’m a committed United Church person and I’m looking for a place to worship – and maybe even serve.”
Yes, each of the answers will be different, but I really do think it’s worth taking a risk to ask that question to newcomers in order to deepen our invitation into the Beloved Community of Jesus as expressed in a local congregation.
